shaping behavior

 When I was a kid, we moved a lot.  I had numerous first days of school, sometimes in the middle of the year.  I don't remember any of them, except when we moved to a small town in Oregon while I was in third grade.  I was given a tour of the school, which included a visit to the principal's office.  There, I didn't actually meet the principal, but I was shown the paddle hanging on the wall, and informed that if I were ever called down to see the principal, he would use the paddle on me.  Did this knowledge make me behave better at school?  No, because I was already a compliant kid.  But, it added an unnecessary layer of fear to a childhood already clouded with issues of poverty, abuse, and divorce.  It also taught me to distrust the very people I could have turned to for help, guidance, and support.  

Now, in most schools, corporal punishment is, thankfully, non-existent.  We have tools like clips, point sheets, and ClassDojo  to track and manage student behavior.  But as adults, in an effort to gain compliance, we will often phrase a consequence as a punishment, creating a sense of fear and distrust that lurks ever so slightly in the back of the mind.  It's hard to walk the fine line of enforcing a consequence vs. punishment, because we live in a society that is punishment-oriented.    

So, with that personal anecdote in mind, here's what I do know about shaping behavior:

1. When we teach, we are dealing with human beings, complex emotions, a variety of motivations, and a wide range of life experiences.  We work to develop systems to anticipate responses, needs, and outbursts, but no-one can predict the outcome of every situation.  Working with humans is emotionally messy.

2.  We try our best.  We try our best.  We try our best.  Be forgiving of yourself when, despite your efforts, a student derails a lesson or makes an inappropriate choice.  You are trying your best.  

3.  Don't be afraid to ask for help.  Your job can quickly turn into a personal purgatory if your work is undermined by behavior issues. Follow your school's behavior plan and established hierarchy for teacher support.  I usually start with my peers, move on to the behavior specialist or school counselor, and finally, administrator.  I have never had to go to my union, but it is there, and would be my last resort.  But, if you do ask for help, you must be open to item #4.

4.  Be prepared to accept help.  This means being willing to evaluate your own practices, and make changes to ensure the success of your students.  Teaching is a reflective profession, and the best educators are willing to own that they're not perfect, be reflective and make adjustments.  

5.  Sometimes your tools are your students' tools too.  That point card that is a pain to fill out every 30 minutes?  It's not just a way to track behavior.  That kiddo likely relies on that card to give him feedback throughout the day to keep him on the right path.  If it works to modify behavior, it is a tool for the student.  

6.  Students need to know and understand consequences.  But, they don't need to be punished with them.  It's important that we, as teachers, don't threaten with consequences, and instead, discuss consequences as natural outcomes of actions and choices.  Sometimes it's hard to disentangle the concept of punishment from consequence, but I view it this way:  

• A punishment makes someone uncomfortable (physically, emotionally, financially), with the hope that they make the connection between their actions and the discomfort.  From my perspective, it doesn't always work, because the focus shifts from the action to the punishment.  There is no built-in reflectional element.
• A consequence is more similar to a natural cause and effect chain.  If you don't eat, you will be hungry.  The hunger isn't a punishment; it's the natural consequence of not eating, and the reflection is easy to initiate.  

Take for example, discussing something as simple as a playground rules with your class.  A student asks what would happen (to the aggressor) if a student intentionally pushes someone down.  You could respond in a couple of ways:

• Answer A (punishment):  "Well, she would lose the rest of her recess, talk to me, and fill out a form.  And, if she did it again we'd be meeting with her parents"
• Answer B (consequence): "Well, that student would be showing me that she wasn't ready to handle being safe on the playground.  So, she would probably have to spend some recess time working with me to figure out why she did it, and come up with a plan to keep her hands and body to herself.  If it happened again, we would need to see if her parents had any ideas to help her play safely at recess."     

The end result for the student is exactly the same.  In both cases, there is a loss of recess, a teacher conversation, form/plan filled out by the student, and the potential for parental involvement.  What is different?  One is phrased as a punishment, which takes the focus off the issue of playing safely.  The other is phrased as a consequence of the action, which address the issue of playing safely with peers, and lets kids know that your goal is to help them succeed, even when they make mistakes or poor choices.  

7.  Communicate consistent and clear expectations.  If you haven't thought through what you want from your students well enough to communicate it to them, then you haven't set them up for success.  Make sure you're clear on what needs to happen, and be willing to explain why.  Give them opportunities to practice following expectations, so they can experience what that particular task should look, sound, and feel like. 

8.  Students want to be seen, heard, and loved.  I make it a priority to try to know and understand every single student.  This can seem like an overwhelming task, especially with large class sizes and sometimes students with escalating behaviors.  But, even if you just make a discreet effort to hone in on the needs of one student at a time, you'll know the class so much better.  During the first six weeks of school, I put the initials of one student per day in my planner, so I can keep track and make sure I've made the effort to really connect with everyone. 

9.  Connect with families.  Understanding a student's home life makes a world of difference in your relationship with that child. Keeping connected with families (phone calls home, notes home, parent conferences, and even quick conversations at pick-up/drop-off times) is extremely important.  In the rare instance when you encounter a family that is hostile about school, learning, or even you, don't take it personally.  Just keep doing your best to build a bridge (or give space, if needed), and use that knowledge to better understand and support the child affected by that negativity.   

I can't say that I have it down to a science (which is what makes systems so appealing), but I do have a feel for what I can do to shape the behavior of my kiddos.  

As I begin learning about and diving into new practices this school year, I'll likely have more to share.  

Building community

To be honest, I don't know how to fully describe all I do to build community.  It's something that I just do, and to stop and delineate every step is challenging. I'll be doing my best to encapsulate it here, but it is highly likely that I've left something out. 

1.  Take time at the beginning of the year to build your classroom community.  Although this is fairly obvious to any skilled teacher, it needs to be stated.  Starting the year with a strong sense of belonging helps everyone in your room feel successful.  Incorporate plenty of icebreakers and team-building activities. 

2.  Teach your children how to develop a growth mindset so they can see themselves as learners who belong in an academic environment.   Learning about the brain is a powerful way to begin conversations about metacognition. 

3.  Make your room a safe place to share thoughts and ideas.  Explicitly model and teach respectful behavior, especially when it comes to sharing thinking.  When responding to student contributions, unpack or share how their ideas connect with larger concepts or help others learn.  Allow for different ways of thinking, and celebrate those multiple pathways. Display student work that celebrates effort and growth.       

4.  Celebrate mistakes as opportunities to learn and grow.  Be willing to point out or acknowledge your own mistakes, and think aloud about your own strategies to overcome them.  Recognize milestones in learning, especially with topics that were initially challenging to the students. 

5.  Model and emphasize effort over quantity.  I teach my kids to work towards being proficient in a skill, and to help them, I provide examples of what that looks like along the path to proficiency. I'll even ask them to think about where they are on the path to proficiency, and track their own progress using a 1-4 scale. Sometimes, for homework, I'll assign just one math problem, but I'll ask for it to be done well, with the problem fully worked through and the process and thinking fully explained.  

6. Be a cheerleader, and encourage your students to be cheerleaders too.  Find the bright side in everyday situations by being the "glass half full" kind of person.  Celebrate students' kindness, compassion, empathy and of course, effort.  Provide an avenue for students to celebrate and share the accomplishments of others. 

7.  Don't buy into student negativity.  Early in my teaching career, I'd find myself falling into the negativity trap.  I'd get a whining "Do I have to?" and respond with a blunt, "yes" or a request for effort now and a break/reward/recess/whatever later.  Both responses feed into the negativity, and turn the learning process into just another unpleasant chore.
 
Now, years down the road, I don't let the negativity stand, and I don't let it become attached to the requested task.  I have a couple of strategies, depending upon my relationship with the student.  

• If the kiddo responds to humor and understands sarcasm, a dramatic, "Do you have to grow your brain?  Well, yes, of course!"  usually derails the negativity entirely.  There's always a smile, giggle, and no comeback, because they're only third graders who are still at the age where they want their teacher's approval.
• If the kiddo is of a more serious nature, I'll ask the student to clarify their question: "Do you have to do what?"  Most kids don't know exactly what it is they were trying to complain about, and the negativity pretty much evaporates.  Here, it's a habit, not a real question.    
• If the kiddo is able to communicate exactly what it is he/she doesn't want to do, I put a spin on it.  For example, If the kiddo doesn't want to use complete sentences, I'll say something like, "I'll tell you what.  Look at this as an opportunity to train your brain to write in complete sentences.  The more you practice it, the easier it will get, and then you won't have to think about it as much." 

Your positive attitude will eventually start to sink in and shrink the resistance.  Do note, that if your kids with disabilities are asking this question, it could be because there is a skill gap, and they are actually unsure if they can do the task.  If this is the situation, work to address such a gap prior to the onset of negativity, so it doesn't become a veiled method of asking for help. (For example, if your student has poor fine motor skills, and has an accommodation of being allowed to type, make sure that he understands that you're addressing that modification when the assignment is given.  It will remove a layer of stress for him, and his focus will shift from the uncertainty of having two write longhand to the actual assignment itself.)

8.  Embrace the "Power of Yet".  My students got this phrase from a series of ClassDojo Videos about the growth mindset, and used it all year long.  We made it a class rule.  If anyone says a statement that begins with "I can't...", it must immediately be followed up with an enthusiastic "YET!"  

9.  Be forgiving.  Your students need to know that you look for the best in them, and will help them learn from and move past their mistakes.

• If a student is on a destructive streak and deliberately breaks a couple of pencils, and you've already addressed the situation, let it go.  Don't bring it up and make the kid miserable over 40 cents.  You've documented it, and know that it could happen again, but you're going to give him the benefit of the doubt.  Give him the same fresh start you would want for yourself.  (If you're the type that publicly makes jokes about it, over and over again, know that you might be crossing the line and engaging in a type of bullying.) 
• If a kiddo blows out in your classroom, spends some time refocusing in the principal's office and then returns to class, welcome her.  I know it's hard, because she just pushed all of your buttons and you've spent 20 minutes dealing with the repercussions of the blowout, but that student needs you.  The situation has been addressed (by the administrator), so you can move forward with building the relationship.  She needs to know that you're not going to waver in your desire for her to learn.   

10.  Engage your students in a discussion about fairness and what that really means.  Does fair mean that everyone gets exactly the same thing, at the same time, in the same way (equal, equality), or does fair mean that everyone has what they need to be successful (equity)?  There is a great graphic (posted below) that illustrates this, and I use it to jump start the conversation.  When students better understand equity, you don't have to explain why some students have wiggle seats or get to eat lunch with the school counselor. For the most part, kids who understand equity trust that you are making choices that meet their needs, and see that you (or other school personnel) are meeting the needs of everyone else, too.   

Using images to teach address the concept of what is fair. I am unable to find a citation for the creator of this image. If it is yours, please let me know!

BE the teacher you needed as a child.